leaving for college

10:40 AM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2019 (Claremont, CA)

At 6:30 AM this Saturday, I will leave the town I grew up in permanently. My room will still be room, my favorite trail will remain the same, the memories from the last 18 years will still be there — but I won’t.

It’s an interesting feeling, to know that these are the last days I will live in my house as a ‘kid’; from this point on, I am an adult going off to college to basically begin my life. As my friend lamented the other day in Little Tokyo, the towels and cups we are picking now will be ours, and reflect who we are. It seems incidental and small, but we’re now at a point where what we pick isn’t a circumstance imposed on us by our parents. Instead it’s our own will.

I’ve got to say, I’m not usually sentimental. End of high school, last cross country meet, last this, last that, I was breezing through them. Even my own graduation, while joyous and fun, didn’t feel like any big milestone. It was just something that happened. But now that my summer is winding down and I am tasked with packing my life in Claremont up into some suitcases to bring across the country, I’m thinking a lot. About all the good times I’ve had here: waking up at 4:30 AM to eat before a race at 7, riding my bike home from a friend’s house late at night, watching the sunset from the hills. . . and so many more I can’t even explain. Peaceful moments like walking through the Norton Simon with my parents, watching YouTube videos with my sisters, and picnics in the park with my friends make it hard to leave. It also didn’t help that the other day I found a box of Hi-8 home video tapes from when my sisters were all really young. Things like that make it really hard to leave.

But then I read about my classes and the clubs and all the awesome things waiting for me at Purdue, and I become really excited for the future. Saying goodbye to childhood is hard, but the prospect of getting to build my life makes it doable. Onwards and upwards, right?